The Paradox of Holding Capacity and Surrendering at the Same Time

Every woman on this path eventually meets it.

We think power is either being “strong” enough to hold it all or soft enough to surrender it all.

Feminine evolution is both. Capacity and collapse. Strength and allowing. Rootedness and trust.

When I first stepped into the world of money and biz… it felt cold. Sterile like the world wanted me to amputate the life artist in me to fit a mold.

Eventually, I learned that wealth mirrors our inner reality.

How we force, shove, and rush our becoming. The weird little self sabotage loops we pretend we don’t notice, yet run our lives.

So many women close their hearts to providership, to the Masculine, to being held, to surrendering in the face of the unknown.

We were conditioned to believe we had to do everything alone, that receiving was a sign of weakness, and that support felt dangerous.

And in doing so, we deny God, hidden in the very father wounds we refuse to acknowledge.

I’m not going to claim to be self made. No woman is. My knowledge came from those who walked before me. My embodiment came from letting it penetrate my nervous system until it became lived wisdom.

And that’s exactly why I see the wounds underneath when women talk down on men or themselves.

Because I know the mirror of feeling like you don’t belong… like you have to fight for your place …defend… prove… brace… to feel safe.

Ironically, the moment I dropped all that armor?

Life started feeling effortless. Not because of hustle. Because I healed the relationship with my inner masculine, with the Father wound… and with God.

From that place, support started feeling like a blessing instead of a threat. Providership became a partnership.

I stretched myself into the unfamiliar. I built the capacity, and then I learned to lean back and let the fruits of my internal labor come find me.

This is the work.

This is the paradox.